It’s one thing to be bullied and humiliated in front of a few kids. It’s one thing to feel rejection and have your heart crushed by a girl. But it has to be a totally different experience than a generation ago when these hurts and humiliations are now witnessed by a far larger, online adolescent audience. I believe bullying through technology has the effect of accelerating and amplifying the hurt to levels that will probably result in a rise in teen suicide rates. Recent statistics indicate that indeed teen suicide is on the rise again after many years of declining rates.
I don’t blame Ryan’s suicide on one single person or one single event. In the end, Ryan was suffering from depression. This is a form of mental illness that is brought on by biological and/or environmental factors… We have no doubt that bullying and cyber bullying were significant environmental factors that triggered Ryan’s depression. In the final analysis, we feel strongly that Ryan’s middle school was a toxic environment. We place accountability for this tragedy, first and foremost, on ourselves as his parents, but also on Ryan’s school administration, staff and the young people involved.
Nothing can ever bring back our Ryan. Nothing will ever heal our broken hearts. But we hope by sharing the personal details of our tremendous loss, another family will have been spared a lifelong sentence to this kind of pain. Please never forget Ryan’s story and the fragility of adolescence.
[It's a subjective claim, of course – that hi-tech bullying is worse than an old-fashioned shove. Yet the argument has merits. Yes, electronic cruelty is more easily shared; worse than that, it's more easily accessed. Kids can dwell on schoolyard incidents, but with time they recede. Emails, instant messages and blog posts can be read and re-read. Long after the aggressors have moved on, these announcements lose none of their potency. -Ed.]
Douglas Faneuil is the founder of Living Proof Productions, a not-for-profit devoted to suicide prevention based in New York City. He also designs database solutions for companies throughout the Northeast.