Sexual Abuse and the Assumption of Trauma

Ninety-five percent of sexual abuse victims never seek treatment because of what they falsely assume and fear about sexual abuse. Many of them do not even think they were sexually abused. This is a huge problem. You have people who call me and say, “My uncle attempted sexual penetration when I was a child, but I’m not sure if I qualify as a sexual abuse victim.” I say, “How in God’s name do you not think you’re a sexual abuse victim?” It’s because in most cases of sexual abuse, it was not traumatic when it happened…

I think practically, sexual abuse victims need to hear loud and clear that what happened to you is what happens to most people. It was wrong and not your fault, and you should report the crime, and the perpetrator should be punished. I don’t think that sex abuse victims in most cases need years of therapy to get over the betrayal. What they need first and foremost is the straightforward truth: You are not alone, you have nothing to be ashamed of, it’s his fault, and this is a crime.

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[I sympathize with Susan Clancy's skepticism of universal narratives. But her claim that trauma from sexual abuse "almost never happens" is difficult to swallow. Yes, maybe young victims don't experience trauma right away. What should we expect? Of course kids don't understand sexual abuse. Of course it confuses them more than anything else. No child has the capacity to process complicated emotions immediately, if at all. But kids grow up. And when they come to understand, what then? Wouldn't we expect their confusion to turn to rage? At least some of the time? -Ed.]